My name is (fill in any old Republican here, preferably from a state in the SW who's gov's last name starts with B).
HEADLESS TORSOS HAVE BEEN FOUND IN THE DESERT!
Oh, they haven't?
Well maybe they had a FINGER AMPUTATED!!!
Their KIDNEYS WERE REMOVED!!!
Oh, not that either?
Well they had REALLY BAD HAIRCUTS!!
Oh, let me see.
They all had really bad paper cuts.
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